I recently read a letter written by the mother of a child with a disability to parents in her child’s school. It seems parents had been “asking around” about whether the potentially disruptive little boy might be in their own children’s classes. The letter is a poignant and personal view into one of the many challenges of parenting children with special needs. Seeing one’s child ostracized, viewed with suspicion, disdain, and even fear because of their differences is terribly painful for parents, and I’ve thought about that letter a lot since reading it.
Parents of children with disabilities often have added dimensions of anxiety and stress other parents do not face. The pressures of finding accurate information and services for their children, managing appointments with specialists and other service providers, lack of adequate rest, additional financial demands associated with disability, and concerns over the child’s health and well-being can stress the most organized and resilient people, and threaten marriages as well as other relationships. Add to that the difficulty of finding child care that will accept a child with a disability, and parents can be left isolated and overwhelmed.
Infants and toddlers with disabilities are far less likely to be served in settings with typically developing children, and last month the Division of Early Childhood of the Council for Exceptional Children (CEC) released a resource for building inclusive state `child care systems. Research has found attitudes and beliefs of early childhood personnel to be one of the barriers most frequently cited by early childhood administrators with regard to the inclusion of young children with disabilities, in spite of overwhelming evidence that high-quality inclusive settings benefit children with and without disabilities.
Concerns over whether children with disabilities will take up too much of a teacher’s attention, absorb needed resources, cause too much of a distraction for other children, and similar objections to early childhood inclusion simply have no empirical basis. When those who serve young children commit to an inclusive environment and engage with parents in problem-solving, the barriers can be quickly overcome.
Beyond the value of improved outcomes for all children in inclusive environments, what are we telling young minds when we express a desire to avoid those who may look, behave, or learn differently? If we want children to grow up to have the skills necessary to navigate an increasingly diverse society and global economy, we must provide them with opportunities to understand and appreciate individual variations and build meaningful relationships with those who are not like ourselves. High quality inclusive childcare, preschool, and school environments provide those valuable experiences.
I think most parents would say they want their children to value all human life and be kind to others. But children will follow the examples set for them.
By Dr. Melody Musgrove